That our daughters may be as corner stones...

...polished after the similitude of a palace...

~Psalm 144:12~

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Modesty, Part 2

In Part 1 of this series on modesty, I talked about how glorifying God was one of two main reasons for being modest. The second reason I found for dressing modestly was to guard the hearts and minds of our brothers in Christ.

Many throw this problem right back on the guys, saying “It’s their problem! They just shouldn’t look!” But girls, the responsibility for what we wear is ours right from the minute we drag those clothes out of the store. My dad says guys are visual, so why should we make it any harder for them to resist temptation? They are constantly under barrage from the world and the way the average girl dresses. As Christian ladies, we should seek to give them a safe haven from the world and not be a stumbling block. They shouldn’t have to look at their feet around their sisters in Christ.

The Christian young men I know do excuse girls and put the responsibility for remaining pure back on themselves; they take the position that they just shouldn’t look. Yet, as Christian young ladies seeking to serve Christ, we should think about the way we present ourselves to the world. In 1 Thessalonians 5:22 we are told to “abstain from all appearance of evil.” We should refrain from dressing like the world not only to glorify God, but also to protect our brothers in Christ. And by doing this, we’re glorifying God at the same time.

Sometimes as girls we don’t know exactly what effect a particular outfit will have on a guy. But instead of waiting for the guys’ reactions, ask your father. Most times, my outfits pass the “Dad Test,” but on a few occasions Dad has asked me to change outfits. No, he is not being legalistic, and no, he is not dictating to me what I can and cannot wear. He is helping me to think about the effect my clothing will have on gentlemen, and I am grateful he takes the time to care about what I wear. My parents don’t measure my hem length, instead they have given me basic guidelines about what is appropriate.

Each family has their own standards, and I won’t go into that because that is for you and your family to decide. For my family, we keep skirts below our knees and stick to a basic “not too tight, not too short, not too low” rule. And I’ve been reminded time and time again that attitude is everything. A long skirt worn with a wrong attitude can be 10 times more provocative than a knee-length skirt worn with a modest attitude. Sometimes the activity you’re doing dictates whether or not an outfit is modest. “Purity of mind” is the attitude we should have, in everything we do, and with everything we wear!



Links

Fashion & Following the Savior, Part 6
A Candle Among the Straw
Modesty on Your Wedding Day
A Godly Woman’s Fashion Statement
Guys to Girls
Purity Girls.com’s Modesty Survey: Click on the clothes hanger icon to see the survey. I recommend this for older ladies and mothers, as the guys were often very blunt in their answers. This survey was given to young Christian guys about various articles of clothing girls wear and they answered why or why not these should or should not be worn. It is VERY eye opening!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Modesty, Part 1

Finally, without further ado, here is the first part of the articles I've been promising for a while. I'm sorry it's took me so long but I won't make excuses. I hope you enjoy them!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





I decided to compile all my thoughts on modesty into two posts. There are already so many posts and articles on it that I don’t want to be redundant. However, I wanted to get my thoughts out there, possibly more for me than anyone else, but I pray this is a blessing to you all as well.

As Spring comes around and us ladies go through our wardrobes (I can’t speak for guys as to whether or not they go through their wardrobes in Spring or not… ), we come across a dilemma… what on earth are we going to wear?! So then comes getting new clothes, but the problem gets worse. Oh, the stores have no lack of clothing… although I’m not sure that term can be properly applied to what is sold in stores today. Finding modest clothing is really hard to do, trust me.

Why don’t we just buy what’s easily available though? Why agonize and travel store to store or spend hours on the Internet trying to find a skirt that goes at least past the knees (my family’s rule for skirt length) or for a shirt that completely covers my entire stomach and the top of my jeans too? Why try on 6 million pairs of jeans (ok, so I’m exaggerating a little) before finding a “decent” pair, even though 4 million of them did go on and “fit”?

One simple word: modesty.

What is “modesty”? Why do I even worry about it? What’s the big deal? Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language defines modesty as:
That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one’s own worth and importance. …In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind… . Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.


“Purity of mind.” That’s the whole “big deal,” right there. I see two main reasons for dressing modestly:
(1) Glorifying God, and
(2) Guarding the hearts and minds of our brothers in Christ.


I’m going to deal with my first point in this post. The first passage in the Bible that come to mind is 1 Timothy 2:9-10:
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with modesty and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becomes women professing godliness) with good works.

Why do we dress modestly? Because “this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior.” (1 Tim. 2:3) These verses, though maybe it looks that way, are not being legalistic. Paul was instructing the women to dress for God’s glory, not their own. The ladies of GirlTalk did a series on “Fashion and Following the Savior.” In Part 3 of the series, they identified three motives of pride in our dressing: A desire to be selfish, a desire to show off, and a desire to seduce. (I’ve linked the relevant posts at the end of my post.) These motives are most definitely NOT God’s motives.

Does modesty mean we have to be “frumpy” or “dowdy”? Absolutely not! Just read Proverbs 31:22, Song of Solomon 1:10, and Esther 2:12! Again, the ladies at GirlTalk write:
God is the creator of beauty. God delights in beauty. All we need to verify this fact is to consider the beauty He created all around us. … we can’t help but be convinced that He delights in beauty! (Part 4)

We can glorify God by the way we dress.

This is a heart issue. Are our hearts in the right place? Are we dressing for the three reasons mentioned earlier? Or are we glorifying God? I’m not getting into hemlines here. This is a matter of having your heart right with God, and having “purity of mind.” This definiton of modesty is definitely going to extend into the next part of my post.

Instead of repeating what other have put so well, I’d encourage you to check out these links. Part 2 will be coming soon…



Fashion & Following the Savior, Part 1
Fashion & Following the Savior, Part 2
Fashion & Following the Savior, Part 3
Fashion & Following the Savior, Part 4
Fashion & Following the Savior, Part 5

Monday, June 19, 2006

I Cannot Live Without Books...

When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
~Erasmus~



How true can that be! What can I say, I love books. I have scads of books. Our house is full of books. Mom and dad will probably be glad when I leave with all my books so they can add more of their own. Yep, they love books too.

I thought I'd share some of my favorites, my currently reading, and those on my reading list... this is kind of an updating post, so I'll end up linking it in the sidebar so y'all can check back if you'd like. Mom and Kate might do this too, so you can see the wide range (and overlap) of what we all love to read. If you wish to see reviews of any of these books once I'm done with them, or want to suggest any for me to add to my list, leave a comment!



Last Updated: 9.15.06


...Currently Reading...


Back To Basics: Rediscovering the Richness of the Reformed Faith, ed., David Hagopian
I've enjoyed this book so much! It has been a very good refresher as to what I believe and also covers doctrines I've never looked into that much... I'm definitely looking forward to finishing this one!


American Gospel, by Jon Meacham






For the Family's Sake: The Value of Home in Everyone's Life, by Susan Schaeffer MacAulay






...Recently Read...


The Birkenhead Drill, by Douglas Phillips
This was a neat book, and a quick read. The idea of "women and children first" always seems to come from the Titanic, but many don't know (and I didn't either!) that this wreck came before the Titanic, and set the precedence for "women and children first." I only wish there had been more about the principle, rather than a simple narration. I did like reading the original and first-hand accounts of the wreck.

Passion and Purity, by Elisabeth Elliot
I read this book pretty quickly, and I enjoyed reading Elisabeth and Jim Elliot's story. However, something struck me as odd with the way they handled their courtship, and I couldn't figure it out until later. Two things, actually: one is that there was virtually NO parental involvement mentioned, and two, that she only advocates physical purity, yet not emotional purity.

Her Hand in Marriage, by Douglas Wilson
Luke and I read this book together, and wow, I really enjoyed it! This book is the absolute best book I've ever read on courtship, hands down. He concentrates on principle, and on raising your children to be courtship-committed, and to have the characteristics for a Godly wife/husband. I would actually recommend this book for new parents, as it would be a good guide for raising children.


When You Rise Up: A Covenental Approach to Homeschooling, by R.C. Sproul, Jr.
This has been one of the best books I ever read...a full review is coming soon!








...All-Time Favorites...


I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris
This is a book I'd recommend if someone has ever dated before. It was the first courtship-minded book I read, and though it didn't apply to me much, the principles within definitely did. It's a good reminder why dating isn't the best method, and has some good questions to ask yourself as to whether or not you're ready for a relationship.

Boy Meets Girl, by Joshua Harris
This book has a little more of Joshua Harris' view of how to set a courtship in motion, and has some great questions to ask, as well as heart and attitude checks for along the way. He tells the story of his and his bride's courtship, not so that others may copy it exactly but so that readers can see the principles in action.
Note: This book has a chapter that parents definitely need to read first.

Beloved Bride, by William Potter
I love to read about Gen. "Stonewall" Jackson from the Civil War, and I've read this book several times. It is filled with letters to and from Jackson and his beloved wife, Anna, and is a true testimony to his love for not only Anna, but his Lord and Savior as well. This one is definitely worth a second (and third and forth...) read!

Her Hand in Marriage, by Douglas Wilson
Luke and I read this book together, and wow, I really enjoyed it! This book is the absolute best book I've ever read on courtship, hands down. He concentrates on principle, and on raising your children to be courtship-committed, and to have the characteristics for a Godly wife/husband. I would actually recommend this book for new parents, as it would be a good guide for raising children.







...On the List...


The Fallacy Detective, by Nathaniel & Hans Bluedorn






Praise Her in the Gates, by Nancy Wilson







The Joshua Generation, by Michael Farris







The Three Musketeers, by Alexandre Dumas







1776, by David McCullough







A Tale of Two Cities







Homemaking, by J.R. Miller
Mom did a review of this book, which you can find here.







Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America, by Jeff Pollard